Big Upset.

2nd selection is totally bullshit.

You have 5 spots and CBC students can't apply???

Damn you.

Now there's not even a sliver of hope left for me for the rest of this year.

I'm done.

I-I-I Wanna Go-o-o

Away from here.

I just wanna chill in a quiet, serene place. With soft breezes.

And have nothing to worry about.

How nice that would be huh?

I'm kinda sick of everything right now. I've lost the drive, the motivation to do anything.

No INSTEP, no summer research. No nothing.

Life is so boring. Mundane.

If I ever have kids in the future, I'll fully support and encourage them to pursue their dreams. Do what they want to do. But of course they must be 100% sure about the path they want to take, and actually have the talent to do so. Practicality, right?

I've lost my chance. I don't want them to lose theirs too. Be an artist, a musician, a dancer. Whatever they want to be.

Back to me.

If you think I'm a strong-willed, cheery kid who doesn't really care about anything, you're wrong.

I just appear to be. Truth is, I'm trying. Trying to stay happy, trying to help make others happy, trying to do the best I can, to do everything I can do, as me.

But sometimes, constantly trying is a really tiring job. Especially if it brings no success.

So I pray. I fantasise. I wish. I think of things worth looking forward to (albeit not a lot). So I can get past every single day.

Came across this quote, "Sometimes, giving up does not mean you are weak. It means you are strong enough to let go."

Is it true? Or is it just some comforting words?

No don't worry. I'm not giving up my life, that's for sure.

But giving up something is really really tough. Don't you think?

Today, I Don't Feel Like Doing Anything.

I just wanna lay here in my bed.

So the application results for exchange were out......and I didn't get a placement.

Well, I kinda expected it though, judging from the huge number of applicants for that particular university. Still, I'm disappointed. Really wanted to escape from this island for a good few months...but that's not happening now.

The system is flawed, in my opinion. Might as well raise the minimum GPA to 4.5, so people like me wouldn't have to waste their time and effort to apply, wait and then get their hopes dashed. Giving opportunities for students to experience exhange?? Bullshit.

Sigh. What's decided has been decided. 2nd selection round isn't going to be of any help as well. I guess I'm not fated to go.

Everything happens for a reason. Pravin, if you're reading this, let's try next semester. And this time I sure hope we get to go for real. Who knows we can match other universities too! :D

Not My Intention

Kind of random but I would just like to apologise to anyone that I may have offended either through my spoken words, written comments or statements, be it on your blog, Facebook, or in person. I really do not mean any harm and have no intention of hurting you or making you angry.

I'm quite a straightforward person so I may come across as a guy who just says what he wants, but do know that I'm working very hard on being as sensitive as possible before writing a comment or saying something to you. I'm human and I'm not perfect, so there're bound to be slip-ups here and there sometimes. But please please don't get offended because I have no intention of offending you. :)

That said, I'm truly sorry, kindly forgive me for my mistakes and cheers to everyone! :D